Vauxhall Astra Van 280BHP
£1.49 Per Ticket
| Prize | Vauxhall Astra Van 280BHP |
| Delivery | Collection or Paid Delivery |
| Competition Ends | 22nd May 2026 8:00 pm |
| Ticket Limit | 3250 |
| This competition will have | 1 winners |
Have a chance at winning a tatty 2005 Vauxhall Astra van from EP-COMPS…
Or at least… that’s what it wants you to think.
Because yes—on the surface, it looks like something that should be carrying a toolbox, three empty Red Bull cans, and a bloke called Dave who’s “on his way” but never actually arrives. It’s dull, it’s scruffy, it’s completely forgettable.
And that’s exactly the point.
This thing is a full-blown sleeper—and a properly stupid one at that. We’ve made a bit of a habit out getting cars that look like they should struggle to overtake a cyclist, then watching them absolutely ruin someone’s day at the traffic lights. Bonus points if the other car is full of passengers. Maximum emotional damage.
And this Astra? It might be the funniest one yet.
Because unless you really know what you’re looking for, you’d never guess. Maybe you spot the GSi brakes hiding behind the wheels. Maybe you clock the stainless exhaust that still looks factory. At idle, it sounds like a old Astra with an exhaust blow.
Then you put your foot down…
…and it completely loses its mind.
Under the bonnet is a 280bhp, 300 lb-ft C20LET that turns this innocent little van into an absolute weapon. It’s running Courtenay Sport ‘Stage 4’ tuning—VXR injectors, upgraded turbo, big front-mount intercooler, full exhaust, uprated pipework… the lot. And because it only weighs about 1100kg, it goes like it’s got something to prove.
Traction? Optional. Chaos? Guaranteed.
Inside, it’s still weirdly civilised—cream leather heated seats, cruise control, upgraded audio… all the comforts you don’t expect while you’re busy embarrassing hot hatches.
This isn’t just a van. It’s a joke that keeps getting funnier the harder you drive it.
So if you fancy something completely unnecessary, deeply irresponsible, and guaranteed to make you laugh every single time you get in it…
You know what to do.
About This Competition
Have a chance at winning a tatty 2005 Vauxhall Astra van from EP-COMPS…
Or at least… that’s what it wants you to think.
Because yes—on the surface, it looks like something that should be carrying a toolbox, three empty Red Bull cans, and a bloke called Dave who’s “on his way” but never actually arrives. It’s dull, it’s scruffy, it’s completely forgettable.
And that’s exactly the point.
This thing is a full-blown sleeper—and a properly stupid one at that. We’ve made a bit of a habit out getting cars that look like they should struggle to overtake a cyclist, then watching them absolutely ruin someone’s day at the traffic lights. Bonus points if the other car is full of passengers. Maximum emotional damage.
And this Astra? It might be the funniest one yet.
Because unless you really know what you’re looking for, you’d never guess. Maybe you spot the GSi brakes hiding behind the wheels. Maybe you clock the stainless exhaust that still looks factory. At idle, it sounds like a old Astra with an exhaust blow.
Then you put your foot down…
…and it completely loses its mind.
Under the bonnet is a 280bhp, 300 lb-ft C20LET that turns this innocent little van into an absolute weapon. It’s running Courtenay Sport ‘Stage 4’ tuning—VXR injectors, upgraded turbo, big front-mount intercooler, full exhaust, uprated pipework… the lot. And because it only weighs about 1100kg, it goes like it’s got something to prove.
Traction? Optional. Chaos? Guaranteed.
Inside, it’s still weirdly civilised—cream leather heated seats, cruise control, upgraded audio… all the comforts you don’t expect while you’re busy embarrassing hot hatches.
This isn’t just a van. It’s a joke that keeps getting funnier the harder you drive it.
So if you fancy something completely unnecessary, deeply irresponsible, and guaranteed to make you laugh every single time you get in it…
You know what to do.
